ahhh k well this is my first day on Deviant. there isn't much to say except for I made two revelations about myself today... one, is I found out, I barely open up to anyone, and the ones I do seem to open up to, I somehow lose eventually... they move away, or pass away, or I just stop seeing them anymore... and I think I noticed the reason why... just a guess... maybe I should open up to more people... but when so many people have hurt you, thats a hard thing to do... trust is a hard word, a word that is not often used in my dictionary..... another thing I realized, is I seem to challenge people I meet... challenge them to try to get to know me, to love me.... in any way really. physical pain doesn't bother me, emotional pain kills me. if I love someone, I am extremely loyal and devoted to them. my family means everything to me. my friends are my life. I love nature. if I'm in a bad mood, its wise to leave me alone. if you can stick by me no matter what, you are my best friend. then again, I dont have best friends... if someone means enough to me to be considered my best friend, its mostly family. I have three best friends. Clay, Beth, and Zach(in order that I met them). they mean the world to me and I'd die if I had to live without them(which seems that the world is coming to an end because I've lost two and I dont see one of them very often) I'm usually a pretty happy person, I do have my moments though. ok I'll stop boring you now, if you want to know more, message me. I'll answer pretty much anything and everything but if I dont want to, trust me, I wont and you'll know.